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My mom asked me to eat that little fish lying on that white plate.i just hate eating fish because of the bones and those fried texture just makes my tongue uncomfortable.i wash the plates and place it nicely on the shelves.but i broke one of the plate.i cut my finger and i paste a plaster.later on i walk along the street and light up a ciggy.finally i get to smoke a stick after a meal.although the meal was not good enough to fill up my stomach.suddenly i smell something burning like plastics.oh.....it's my plaster!! it was burned with my ciggy.

ok..this is boring.

Don't know

There is nothing going through my mind
and my fingers just stop moving around the strings.
This has been happening for quite awhile
and my fumes just starts hitting around the stress.

I tried to reflect things back.
But i just don't wanna remind myself about the past.
This is the only way that i can start using the ink.
I'll just cut a hole and crawl in.
But making sure it will not close back,
incase i can't get back.

I did took a look and just crawl back.
There's nothing interesting.
It's just all shit and rubbish.
But there are things that worth taking a second look.
Those are good memories and good feelings.
Those love, friends, fights, anger, and pain.

Back to the paper writting.
Nothing come from the hands and finger and mouth.
no sound and no writting.
Crashed paper lying around
Cancelled words here and there.

Is there anymore would you like to say??

" I've done my part, so don't ask anymore." - Serotine

Falling process

I'm climbing up the high rocky stick looking mountain with all my mighty strength.once i got to the top, i feel so restless but the wind up there is really making me wanna sleep.how i hope that there's a bed for me to rest on.suddenly everything just feel so shaky and unstable.i have no choice but to stand on one leg and balance myself from falling.but in the end, my sneakers shoe just slip off my last hope and i went straight down.my hair is fighting against the wind and my clothes too.i just feel a big bang towards my back as if my lungs and heart is popping out like paddle pop.the moment i open my eyes, i saw myself lying on a patch of grass and there are many people around me running and giggling about somethings as if my face have some drawings.and i just stand on my feet and walk around to find some familiar face.i smell a nice familiar fragance and i saw this girl standing by the tree.i walk towards her with my greatest smile and start a conversation with her.this is the first time a girl actually willing to talk to me so freely, i'm so happy about what's happening.but somehow something in my mind is telling me to do this.i smile at her and grab her long silky hair and bang her head towards the roughest part of the bark till it bleeds and i just leave her alone lying there on the grass.i keep walking but my vision of the people are so weird.one moment they were cramping together and the other moment they were seperated so far apart..and this keep repeating around my vision.its giving me headache and my brain is so uptight.i can feel that my brain's juice is leaking out from my eye and ears.slowly i get weaker and i kneel down and crawl and continue with the walk.i just can't carry on. and i lie there helplessly.i saw this shadow getting close to me and i looked up.he have this blond hair with a decent face but with full of anger written all over his face.he looked down at me and said
" this is for her..."
and he took a big stomp on my face and
" DISH!!!!"
things leaking out and i'm there lying down on the sandy ground with the stick looking mountain above me.

Thoughts

Those heavy weight skin
just doesn't seems to be willing.
Those tight aching muscle
just doesn't seems to be willing too.
He just feel so uptight and useless.
It was only the cloth that he feels.
Why can't you just be more thoughtful?
It's just hopeless.
Everything was paid.
It's not the first time.
Other's will think differently.
Nobody cares what they think.
But it's just how he feels,
towards her.
Would that really matters?
All the heart is used and
that matters.
That's the main point.
The heart.The effort.The touch.
What is all these?
No one knows.It's just them.

" In order to die, i must fall in love..."

Happening

Just a normal message like the normal days.
But it somehow shows something.
And i guess it right.

You want people to understand your state
and they do.
Why can't you understand other's state too?
Stop being so selfish.
Understand, feel it, have some contact.

It's drawing near.
Somehow it feels the same, like few years back.
I'm gonna make things different this time.
To show that it ain't the same.
To everyone.

No use thinking about the past, last time here and there.
What now is now, solve the problem NOW.
And not by having it left behind
and thinking about the past.

"That even if you don't look back, be sure find out who was there." - Circa Survive

Finking...

Those loud voices really
pull out of the quicksand,
but the feeling of been sucked down
still surrounds the skin.

Once again it's that touch,
those kind of support
is really indeed in need.

Wouldn't it be nice
if those flower are in yellow
or green?

There's nothing more to say
or write or even to think about.
It's just waiting.


"I'm not living, I'm just killing time." - Radiohead

random

Stuck inside a brown box
wanting to get out
but it's taped up..

Is it possible to use a knife
and poke a hole through to
let me breath with the lights?

Having bending and waiting
without the rubber bend
and the friction between
two white chalk
the pain is unbearable

Tips moving around
those plastic buttons
and reflection of blur images of her
and her soft spoken question,
just ease the pain away

Random-ness just doesn't make any sense
but nothing-ness just make it empty.